When Dying To Self and Culture Hurts....

Today I realized what Paul meant when he said “For I have become all things to all men…” It was hard. It hurt. It caused me to do a lot of looking into my own heart and laying things down. I am currently working in a black south African home, which I have been enjoying immensely. However, my cultural background and their cultural background have clashed over the past few days and caused much misunderstanding, high emotions, and growth. You see, Paul understood that each people group that he visited was different and there was a huge need to be culturally honoring and respectful to each one, while also calling them to a life of holiness in the Lord. Here in South Africa, and most of Africa, new ideas are shared in a very specific order and if they are produced out of order, it causes a lot tension and high emotions, especially among black south Africans and whites. Now, if any of you know me, I am constantly getting ideas and sharing them, in fact, in America coming up with ideas, sharing them, and implementing them is encouraged and welcomed on a regular basis. (At least from my experience.) Here, it’s seen as threatening, disrespectful, and that you’re wanting to take over because they are ignorant and don’t know what they are doing. That is not who I am at all, but the cultural difference says that I am…

Now, this is all part of dying to my own pride, my own culture, how I have learned to communicate, and much of what I have known while I grew up in America. I now have an appreciation for my culture that I didn’t have before. We welcome new ideas and change quite easily. We allow people to speak into our lives when we have a relationship built on trust. In this culture, you may have someone’s trust, possibly even more trust than most give in America, but that doesn’t mean that we can speak into their lives, let alone suggest new ideas without being asked. It’s very different. I was thinking we were just talking/chatting and they assumed I was telling them what to do and trying to take over. That I was looking down on them and they were under qualified for running this home. So for me, I must learn and embrace this change and show honor and respect if I want to be able to love them with God’s love. I cannot continue to carry on and converse as I have and be able to get anywhere in this culture. I must become, culturally, Black South African, American, European, Asian, Latino, Russian, etc… in order to love those people well. I cannot say that I love God and yet hate my brother and I must suggest that when people go to a place and not change how I interact in different cultures that you are not truly loving them, but hating them because you have refused to adapt their way of showing love, honor, and respect. You are saying that I am so much better than you, where I come from is, and how I do things is the only right way to do it.  That approach the church has taken with reaching out to people has caused a lot of pain, whether or not it was intentional.

I have to adjust and change what I have learned if I desire to love the people of Africa. I must become African to them in the way I approach communication, relationship, business, etc….. If not then I fail to love them how Jesus did and he’s the whole point.