Losing my life looks a lot like....

Jesus said in order to find life we must lose it. I have held onto so many THINGS in my life, physical, emotional, mental... It takes up so much space sometimes... I have held so tightly at times to my "life", my past that seems to "sum up" who I am (even though it doesn't at all), and my heart. These are things that I have given in part to Jesus. The parts that are easy and safe were well... easy to lay down. Easy to give up control.
Now that I am being faced with children every day that cry out to me 'Mom' and 'Auntie' everyday and look to me for all their love, affection, guidance, hope, encouragement, etc... I am faced with a great responsibility that I can't run from. I find myself letting go of things easier in my life. I find myself wanting to be free of anger I have held against my parents for things because now I see how hard it is. I see where you have the regrets for not saying that word or telling them 'don't spill the water' when they didn't... I am losing myself and finding myself at the same time and it's so easy when I see that sweet face smiling at me. This must be what they mean in that one song "Sweetly Broken" huh?
My days consist of teaching, cooking, playing, laughing, talking, disciplining (I hate that but when they start fighting and kicking something needs to be done), loving, smiling, holding, singing, dancing, etc... and I want more of that.
I guess what I am saying is losing my life looks a lot like becoming responsible for a bunch of little ones... It looks like being a mom. It looks like learning to care for someone else before myself. It looks like rethinking what I was about to say because it's being said to a beautiful, sensitive, tender child. It looks like finding what really matters: LIFE. FAMILY. LOVE. GOD. JESUS.
Losing my life looks a lot like motherhood right now.